OK. The ignorance has officially gone TOO FAR. I am from the south, this I will calmly admit without any shame whatsoever. However, when people from the northern half of the country decide to get smart with my half of the country, THAT is when I get feisty. How dare you. HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT INCEST IS TOLERATED IN THE STATE OF ARKANSAS. Oh, I’m sorry. Was I too loud there? Did I damage the membranes of your delicate city boy ears? We DO NOT have sex with our family members! And while I’m on this topic, I would also like to add that we DO WEAR SHOES. All the time, in fact. I graduated from a high school who’s academics rank with the TOP SCHOOLS IN NORTH AMERICA, so don’t you think for one more second that we are all ILLITERATE, DRAWLING HICKS down here. The next time you want to sound clever, why not think before you open your mouth? Here’s what I think, you pasty, urban, mouth-breather. YOU are the stupid, illiterate, drawling hick. YES, YOU. Because you had the AUDACITY and self-righteous attitude to assume things about people you’ve never met simply because you let ARCHAIC STEREOTYPES form your opinions. Have you ever even been to the south, you pathetic vomitous mass? Probably NOT. I bet you sit inside all day and play Black Ops until your eyes start to fizzle from watching all of the virtual muzzle flashes. You, sir, are a MENACE TO SOCIETY. I wish you no success in life, and I hope you live out the rest of your days in the most UNETHICAL and UNCOMFORTABLE way possible.
You DISGUST me, and may the fleas of A THOUSAND CAMELS infest your armpits.
-Alyssa